Semantics

For the past 2 weeks, i've been receiving quite a lot of life lessons. 

From reading several books, i've come to conclude Americans care too much about labels. They get offended by what they think is improper label. They read too much of everything. This conclusion had been forming in my head for several years, from watching movies, news, talkshows, reading books, magazines etc, but it became a solid conclusion when i read, "lean in."

To Americans, our jokes will sound incredibly rude, or racist. But, i think we Indonesian don't think much about it, because a joke is thought of as it is, a joke. It didn't come from a "bad" place. None of us meant to degrade any Solonese when we joke that, somebody walk too slow like Solonese princess. Or when we mimic Ambonese accent in certain jokes. I can imagine that all hell will break loose if an ethnic group make fun of another in the US. 

I thought about why this happen. I found it funny that western people think we asian are too serious and uptight, while we actually can laugh at each other and are more open to laugh at ourselves. Like i would just laugh whenever people mock my Indian heritage. 

I think when there are painful past, that's when the sensitivity came. Americans have dark history when it comes to the treatment of African-American people. But what i still can't understand is, hmm why the sensitivity in everything else? Does that come from fear of repeating history? Why do we have to call ourselves "work loving parent" instead of "working mom", "senior women" instead of "boss", making a fuss of what to say when we refer, "work-life ballance". Some people think saying work-life ballance is like calling work as something alien to our life, we have call it another way because work is life. 💤.

At first, i thought, "Don't we all have better things to do than re-phrasing every single thing that we say? They all sound and mean the same to me. They are just semantics."

But then, as always, God would put me in a position that made me somewhat understand the importance of choosing the right words.

The position was, well, the NTS book. I'm getting a little bit of attention because of the book, and umm, i'm not comfortable with it. I'm used to producing work where the work it self gets the credit, not the people behind it. That's when i started to withdraw, and declining some interviews and speaking opportunities. 

This is where my coach had to lure me out of my cave and try out my roar. As i was telling him about the new developments in the company, including the launch of the book and what opportunity it presented, i started to shrunk in my seat. I didn't notice it, until he pointed it out. 

He laugh and said, "Nin, how weird is that you are telling an exciting story, but made it sound to terrible." 

I said nothing, probably stared blankly. So he asked, "what is it that scares you so much?"

"Umm, a lot. But that's not the thing. The  thing is, i don't like drawing attention to my self. I don't like this self promoting thing. It makes me very uncomfortable and i had to always stop my self from panicking." 

"Well, why did you write the book?"

"Because i want people to learn from our mistakes, be inspired, motivated, enlightened by ours and other entrepreneurs' experiences."

"Then why don't you tell yourself that you are not promoting yourself, tell yourself that you are telling people that through Gogirl! you acquired these experiences and you hope people will learn, be inspired, motivated, and enlighten."

"Semantics."

"Yeah, but how does that make you feel?"

"Actually, if you put it that way, then yeah, i can do that."

"Bet, you start to get excited don't you? Cuz' you just sat up, and lean in. Before, you slouched and shrunked in your seat."

I just smiled. Cuz' he was absolutely right.

Now, i do understand the effect of the right words. They are quite powerful. 

That being said, i still think we should keep away from labels. Positive words are great, but we don't need labels and make a fuss of everything. We still got a lot to do, like, rising to the challenge of leaning in and save the world.

From No One to Someone

Ahhh finally! The wait is over. October 5th, 2013 marked a historic event. Aside from The Expo itself of course. The launch of "No One to Someone" was held. It was a humble gathering, probably only about 68 people attended, but we were so overwhelmed with joy that that number seemed like a lot.

Bentang Pustaka Booth

We started the session with a seminar of how to turn your passion into profession. We then came out later, as people who actualy did just that.

My sisters were all there with me, we all laugh, talk, cried, and signed the copies that people buy at that event.

Is it wrong that the first thought that popped in my mind was, "yay, i look thinner!"

On Stage

Notice the wet faces? We can't hold back tears after the playing of our journey's video.

Book signing line

Happily signing the books

The Power of Three :)

Us with dad, whom i mention quiet a lot in the book as well.

It was a beautiful day! I'm glad BentangPustaka  encouraged me to write our and other entrepreneur's stories.

Here's to becoming a meaningful somebody!

Book Update

2 days ago i went to the book printer's place to check on the progress of NTS book. I didn't plan to stay long but, to my dismay, the print quality was astonishingly bad. 

I protested off course, but as usual, the printer's reactions were blaming everything else but themselves. The quality of the paper, or how in their belief, the quality is acceptable.

*sigh* 

Almost 9 years in this business, problems with printers seems to have sequals almost as many as the fast and the furious movie franchise. And their responses were so predictable that it's starting to feel like a bad commercial line.

So, i pointed out that:

1. Yes quality of the paper is terrible, but their ink density is bad. They should know by now that this brand of book paper does not absorb ink well, worse after the ink dried out, the color fades. 

2. Yes there are nothing both i and the printer can do about the paper, because in our agreement that's the publisher's jurisdiction. Even so, there are ways to make sure that the ink, specially the black ink does not fade. 

3. The files were fine. The colors were block colors, not transparent, and they made the mistake while making the plates. 

4. When they start to blame the lack of sophistication of their machine and therefore not being able to meet my expectations, i pounted the sheet that had my signature on it. I left it there because it's suppossed to be the sample of color and quality benchmark for them to follow. That sheet came from their machine, a sample that i took out from the previous night work, and showed them how different in terms of color and sharpness. 

So yes, in the end, everyone went quiet. Because i was telling the truth and they know it. Everyone appologized, but that was really not what i wanted. I wanted solutions, and i don't like the solution in my mind. 

I thought, with printing this bad, they have to reprint everything! But, i hated that. Even though the books are printed on recycled papers, i still hated the thought of wasting papers and even more so, i hated wasting time.

So, at this point, i already know the drill. While everybody else made themselves scarce and pretended to be busy, i had a discussion with machine operators. We then tried several things so that we can fix the quality and salvage the papers. 

In the end there were some metal plates, ink placement and printing sequence changed. But when i left the printer that night, everything seemed to be in order. I plan to go back there today, depended on my children's mood. I wanted to take them out to play, but my kids are home kids, they like the comfort of their home. While their moms needed to go out, they don't. If they don't feel like going out today, then i'll go to the printers.

PS : The picture of me on top of this post was taken by Atjil (Thanks tjil!). She came with me to the printers because i offered her a ride home. But it turned out i had to stay, so i had my driver took her home. 

Expo!

I know i knowwww....! Why would a magazine make a passion expo anyway? That's what people have been asking me these days. 

I'm just bored with the same old thing that we do. Beauty pageant is good but it's been around for centuries. Passion expo on the other hand, is a new concept. So i wanted to do it. It's risky, and though i try to hide it, i'm freaking out!

You see, not many people will sponsor anything new. I'm branded crazy by lots of people now, because i'm doing a completely new concept just when sponsors are confident about Gogirl! Look. That means, this year i can reap big money from sponsors if i make another big Gogirl! Look event. Instead, i make Gogirl! Look smaller in size and making it part of something bigger, something we call Gogirl! Passion Expo.

So what does that mean? It means sponsors scatter, and leave. They don't like anything new, and that means we have to fund the whole event ourselves. The problem is, the money is so tight, that we are all in praying mode. 

Needless to say, i'm scared. 

I made crazy moves in the past, though most of my madness paid off, some didn't. My mistakes cost money, and they cost a lot! So yes, i'm scared.

But, you see, somehow, my mind is programmed to seek solutions. So in times like this, my mind tells me to counsel my own heart, cuz it's the strongest part of me. And my heart tells me, i should not worry, and that... I should eat more nutritious food. Ah ya, my heart rambles just like my mouth do.

I know, Gogirl! Is going to be somewhat elevated soon. Because, experience told me, whenever we were going to grow, there were just one hardship to another that was thrown our way. So, we are going to grow. I know that. I just need to keep going and have faith.

Yeah, i admit it. This is an ambitious project. But, i swear that i do it because i want more meaningful event that can help more people. The road is tough, but we've been through worse. No need to dramatize the minor challenges we are experiencing right now.

We can do this! With or without sponsors, we will manage, we will strive, we will be successful! We will make everyone who opens booths in expo successful and make tremendous profit! We will have inspiring speakers that makes our seminar and workshop attendees feel enriched, motivated, inspired, and enlightened. Every one will be happy, inspired, and successful! Gogirl! Passion Expo is A BIG SUCCESS! Amen! Amen! Ameeen!

The NTS book

Last january, i was approached by Bentang Pustaka, a book publisher that published The Naked Traveller, Perahu Kertas, Top Words, etc. They asked me if i'm interested in writing a book. 

Suddenly, my visualization came to mind. You see, Brad Sugars taught us to IVVM : Idealize Visualize Verbalize, and it will materialize. One of the things i've IVV-ed in the last year was, i'm going to write a book someday. And that someday come sooner than i thought.

My first reaction? Wonder. Shocked. Grateful to tears (literally). And then.. Scared. I mean, is this real? Wait, am i ready? Is Gogirl!'s story really a story worth telling? Are we not getting ahead of ourselves here? 

When in doubt, i asked, who else? My husband and my sisters. Anita asked, "why do we want to write a book?" I said, "because maybe, our story is bigger than we are. Maybe, our struggles were not only meant for us, but for other's too." She smiled her very few smiles. Sat back, and sigh. "But there will be people who are going to be angry with it." She shot me a look. And i understand what she meant. During the course of time, there are many things that happened, and those things involved other people, families, and us. I understand that we have to tell the truth, and truths are... well, inconvenient.

I said, "it's time we admit that the money we got for Gogirl! came from dad not from a bank loan. We have to tell the truth." 

But i know that's not what my sister meant. We have no problem admitting our own faults, it's the stories about other's faults that makes her nauseous. So i said, "i'll be delicate, but it'll still anger certain people."

Anita just said, "ah, whatever we do, there will be people who are going to be mad at us. I'd say, let's do it. But i'm not passionate in writing a book, it's your thing ga, i'll edit and set the art direction."

Fast forward 9 months, the book is done.   We titled it "No One to Someone" because it was the theme of our very first edition and because we believe each of us has that potential.

This is the dummy of the book. It'll look almost exactly like this, with extra spot uv effect. It's going to be launched in 3 weeks and it's going to be priced at Rp 59.500,-

To be honest, we feel just as nervous and as excited as the first time we were going to launch Gogirl! 

Fingers crossed! 

Duck in My Cherry Sauce

I think it was my last day in London when i decided to cut and color my hair. I just thought being in on of the stylish city in the world, they have to have some good stylist. I went to Windle & Moodie.

Just as any English establishment, people at Windle & Moodie are very nice. Sergei cut my hair and Jamie deepened my color. It was just a fair cut, but i know from experience great salons normally don't give you a great haircut right there. Gotta wait till it grew a little. The color on the other hand made me look healthier somehow. It's dark brown actually suits my complexion and in the next pictures, specially when i get to santorini, the color looked even prettier and prettier.

Ahh, posting that picture makes me miss London. The people's courtesy there made me feel ashamed. I mean, aren't we Asian should be the ones with the superior manner and courtesy? But i guess, this is the second city that took me by surprise by it's courteous citizen. When i was in Den Haag, people actually greeted each other as they pass by. Well, at least in the morning. One very chilly morning, My husband and i were entering a little cafe, and i was taken aback when everyone nodded and the ones standing closest and nearest to us actually said "morgen".

Anyway, that last day in London was me being me. So of course i gotta go to King's Cross. The closest thing a muggle like me can go to peek into the wizarding world. I tried to get through Platform 9 3/4 to no avail even though i had the Elder wand in my hand.

Oh well, i guess it was a long shot. I just have to be happy that, the only magic i can get would come in a form of dinner. 

So we walk to Trafalgar Square and made our way to Soho where rows of cool places to eat would tempt you with their aroma, interior design, or at least warmth. It was getting late and London was getting chillier. My mistake was, i did not bring any respectable autumn jacket. I thought London would be warm. I started  to feel the chill to my bones and i hurried up. But the places we passed were full. Some even have lines outside their door. People actually lining up neatly in the cold to eat. Much like sushi tei crowd, only they don't scramble. They stand like how people would get in line to get XXI tickets. 

Dayu pointed out across the street to what she said to be a famous italian restaurant. As i followed her fingers, i found the line were even longer. I rolled my eyes and she got it. Not far i felt a little warmth, and it came from COTÈ. I asked Dayu if it's any good, and she didn't know. So i suggested we tried the place. Immediately, i felt at ease. Warm warm warm! It's all i needed then. Tropical human like me can't stand the windy and chilly weather. Dayu in the other hand was just happy we found a place to eat. Both of us were hungryyy!

As soon as they gave us their menu, i was dishearten. It was a french restaurant and i was not familiar with any of their dishes. So i ordered the most "normal" one. It was duck, served in pink with cherry sauce. I don't like duck, i don't like anything less than overcooked, and i don't prefer cherry. But i thought, at least i know what each ingredient taste like, and unlike any other things on the menu, it would be predictable.

When it came, it came like this : 

Yuck! 

The duck looked raw. I swear i tried not to vomit

But through out this trip i really tried to try  new things, and so i swallowed. 

It was chewy, and then i tasted the cherry. How strange. It didn't taste bad. It actually is hmmm quite ok. I took another one, choosing what look like the less chewy one, dipped it in the sauce, and it was actually GREAT! I drank my wine and the meal became INCREDIBLE! It was insane! Dayu said her meal was extremely good too!

Lovely lovely London! One visit is so not enough. I will return to discover more ducks and more cherry sauce!

Day 3 : Hittin' The High Street

My sister, Githa, had put me on a quest. To find the most wanted bag of this year : the Givenchy Antigona. Needless to say i no nothing about Antigona, but how hard could it be?

The bag, apparently is really that difficult to find. I went to Harrods, Harvey Nichols, etc to no avail. They have the other one, that got me thinking that my sister is either nuts or i just really have a bad fashion sense. 

This is Antigona. To me, this bag looks like a doctor from 1985 would carry everywhere. I just don't get it. She wanted this bag? That's just crayzieh. But, what do i know? She's the stylish one. So i sent this pic to her and just kept on looking. I'm on a mission my self.   I'm hunting for a pair of Christian Louboutin Pigalle patent, 120mm, in MY size. They are supposed to be £395, or about 6 mill rupiah but the one in my size is sold everywhere for 10 million. 

I found my "baby" in Harvey Nics, one last pair left! It was totally meant to be mine! Without any hesitation these pretties are in my shopping bag and i smiled for the rest of the entire day.

Feeling famished, we went up to the 5th floor of Harvey Nics to eat. A place where we found delightful meal, crazy delicious wine and we ate 2 portions each! Seriously! It was heaven! 

By the way, while in London i drank wine with every meal, and i didn't get drunk at all! Usually, i rarely drink wine, when i do i drink at home with my husband, while watching tv or discussing our day. Or maybe with very close friends only. The reason? I get drunk too easy, sometimes over a rumball or coffee with the tiniest portion of rum. So a glass of wine is a sure way to get totally wasted. But in London, i can drink 2 glasses and don't feel anything but warmth. London was cold, too cold and too windy. I guess all that wine was used up to warm my body. But they didn't help much, it was still too chilly for me.

Anyway, we continued our search for Antigona in Selfridges. There, i saw what sister saw. The Antigona, in lamb skin. 

It is truly a beauty. It's a head turner, even when i tried it on, it invited the nearest people to come to Givenchy corner and ask for their own piece. I sent the picture to my sister, and she was nearly hysterical. Well, as hysterical as she can be in whatsapp anyway. So i bought it, and it was a successful shopping day! 

I was pretty happy when we strolled down oxford street, since i got everything i had and wanted to buy. But it was not until i got the most perfect jeans i ever tried on, that i felt like i was walking on air. It was dark indigo, perfectly cut to my size and HEIGHT! It was, ladies and gents, the £7 jeans, from Primark.

Oh London, how i love thee!