Lately, i've been thinking about this.
I have been feeling that i'm just another human being. I try to do good deeds because i feel that's my role in this world. But i'm not the chosen one. I don't always feel this way. In fact, since i was a kid i used to believe that i meant for great things. But, maybe for the past year or two, i start not to. I don't know why.
My discouragement got me thinking a lot of things. Like, why the hell did i believe that i'm going to be important? Did my parents did that to me? Did they say i can be whatever i want to be? Did they say i that i will achieve greatness someday? I honestly don't know. It got me thinking about my own parenting, i did say all those things to my kids. Am i giving them false hopes?
We can't all be great, can we?
Maybe not, but we can all do important things. Things that will matter to human lives.
Can i do important things? Can my work matter?
Why not?
Because i don't know how.
Then ask.
Ask who?
Whoever who can answer.
Who can?
God.
God, can i be important? Can my life matter? Can my life be impactful to others?
You are doing it right now. With the orphans.
.... But that doesn't matter.
Yes it does. To them. Remember the phone call you got last night?
God. Thank You. For allowing me to do this. Thank You for making me see.
You are wellcome. I never left you alone. You are My Idea, remember?
Yes. It's just a hard concept to grasp.
Do you believe now?
I see that, i am your hand for others. This time You use me to make the orphans dreams come true. Other times You use me to speak the truth about things. You use me from time to time. In ways that i didn't think matter. But they matter to people. I'm humbled. Thank You.
Now, go live some more. Never fear. Never worry. I Am here.
Yes God.
Amen.
ah I love this hahaha...
ReplyDeleteI am having a grasp that the feeling of not important is to balance you out. To make a greater you, to add you some humility... :) keep rockin mbak nina