Friday, 30 October 2015


We all make them. And then deny that we do.

We'd try to rationalize that things are beyond our control or that we've tried our best.

A few years ago, i met Brad Sugars. It was in a rare and very expensive masterclass for entrepreneurs. It was in that class i was told, repeatedly, that i was making excuses.

At first, i felt humiliated, and then i felt angry, and then flustered, hot with anger. I felt that the problems i was dealing, was real. I was not making any excuses. But every time i said, "but..." He cut me off, saying, "that's an excuse."

I was angry. Then i became quiet. He continued though by saying, "You are trying to find validation of your feelings, and i'm not here for that. I'm here to tell you, you are focusing on the wrong thing.  Instead of asking why things doesn't work, you should start discussing, 'What would work? What do we have to do to find out? What do we have to do, so that this whole mess does not happen again in future.' You see the difference here?"

He was right, of course. 

We all hate people who doesn't let us validate our feelings. But we need to get over our selves. Yes, yes, we are only human. But enough with the moping already. Snap out of it and start focusing our mind to the future. To work on what's within our power to change. To think about, what needs to be done. 

Soon enough we know what to be done. But, right here, is when we realize it takes so much work, and energy, and it would take too long. Then we start to whine,"Isn't there any pratical things? Faster way? Easier way?" 

The answer?

Of course there is! But anything instant is never good or sustainable. This actually is the general rule in most aspects in life. Whether we want to be successful, to be popular, to be respected, to be winners, or even when we are trying to lose weight or live more healthy life. Quick fix, never lead to anything good.

So let's use this time to stop whining, and recharge ourselves. Because, we gotta start working, now.

okay maybe not now, now. Let's settle for Monday!

Happy weekend everyone!

Monday, 5 October 2015

"I want to run away with you."

Said my husband. 

I looked at him and think, how many women out there dream of hearing the exact same line from their partner. 

To us though, it was painful. We are in pain. 

This monetary problem that we've been having, it's starting to really get to us. We've been sad, then numb, then sad again, then extremely sad, now it get to the point of too much pain. Too much that i found my self searching for Gogirl! Happy Project article. Looking for ways to get outside of this state.

Even so, Every morning i would find HONY's ig post and think, "Why am i so shallow? I don't live in refugee camp, my son is not recruited to be soldiers, my daughters do not live in fear that their parents might be shot dead in front of them, we are not living in constant fear like people in war zones. We are okay. We are save. We can survive this."

Yet, these words somehow have no weight. They do not lift me. They just, kept me going. 

I've been waiting for God's grand gesture. But maybe i'm waiting for nothing. God's helps are rarely, if ever, grand. They are always quiet help. modest. calm. never with pomp & circumstance.

We went to the tax office again yesterday. I'm not sure if i have witnessed a miracle, because tax people are just, unpredictable. But we did caught a break. Just a little. But it's hopeful. It feels like God's help, but i'm too scared to be hopeful. 

I hope that this is it. If this is the devine help we've been waiting for, i'll take it. I hope that Dirjen pajak can just find other, bigger entrepreneurs that they can pursuit. The ones that actually have gazilion of money in Swiss banks. 

Dear God, is this it? have i been too caught up that i can't even see a miracle anymore? Your help will never be late. That's the only thing i'm sure about. Whether this is it, that, i just don't know.