Sunday, 27 November 2016
What happened after was weird, to say the least. From the moment i step out there, Storms started to close in. I was in a battle i didn't know about. I was attacked. My will, my resolve, everything was attacked. By people who don't believe in it, by chances that don't come my way, by cancelations, by distractions, by disheartening decisions, by pain and dissapoinments.
All of the effort to bring me down did not succeed, until one did. One thing happened and it shook me to the core. It made me lose sight and feel of everything. EVERY THING. I walked aimlessness and strayed to the unknown. Slowly though, i feel like the hold of that pain wearing off. I found my self in a place i've never been. Somewhere far and dark all the time. I have stopped my self from wandering off. I am now on my way back to my self. Now i realized, i have walked so far that it'll take me some time to get back to that kingdom of self. That kingdom where i reign knowing with every breath i own, who i am and why i'm here. I can only know it from memory, but i have not feel it in my lungs and my blood, and in every inch of my being. But slowly, i'm on the way.
I've heard this story before, so many times. They say, this is always what happened when you are put in a path. You get tested, you get defeated, you are attacked by the opposites of light. I claimed that i am the light and the salt of the earth. But as soon as i made that i claim, i was sucked in the dark and was made to feel and taste nothing.
When we are put on a mission, when we follow a vision, you thought that you will be guided, the roads will be dangerous but you will be protected. But boy, how i didn't expect the treacherous road! When i was kidnapped by the dark, i saw nothing. Right now, i am beckoned into grace again. But still, i'm the one who has to walk back to the path of light. I have to train my thoughts to believe that this journey will not be in vain. I need to just keep walking and believing. Because faith is the frequency where God work His miracles. I need to stay in this frequency. Even if all i hear is static now. Even if i'm still walking in a dark slippery path, with storms pouring on me. This path will bring me home. I need to discipline my steps, train my thoughts, strategize my provision, i need to surrender my self to the will of God. Everything will fall into place, not as i planned, but as God has planned them to happen.
Keep walking, Nin. It won't be long now. Refocused and discipline yourself. Just keep walking.
Friday, 25 November 2016
I had a huge fight with my sister. One that i have never experienced in my whole 37 years of life. We talked it out, and that's why i'm ready to share in my blog. But still, i'm not going to tell you what it's about and how everything settled.
I will say that, this fight that we had, had shook me. Very deep to my core. I know it's over, and i know everything has passed. But i can not lie, it changed me. The hurt stayed. Which is weird. I don't know why it's been so stubborn latching in my heart and has been clouding my head ever since.
It feels like that experience i had in Sumba. I think i almost drown.
We were swimming in Lapopu Waterfall, when a friend of mine panicked in the middle of it. She started to drown. I stopped swimming and dove to save her. She panicked and pulled me downward. I tried to swim upward and push her, but i can't. She was too heavy. I tried to call my friends but they can't hear me because the sound of the waterfall was just too loud. No one can hear me. I dove again, trying my best to lift her, but she became even more panicked and pull me further down. There were a strong undercurrent and i was pulled in. I saw her feet on top of my head, while i still hadn't touch the ground. The water was deeper than i thought. I pushed up again and screamed for for help. Everybody saw me and froze. I kept screaming, "Save her, save her, she's drowning!" but no one came. So i tried to lifet her again and in that moment i cried, i remember thinking, "Oh My God she's drowning and i can't save her!". Finally my friend Devi swam toward us and she tried to help me. But what happened was the opposite. Ollie pulled us both down as she tried to propelled herself up. The three of us was under water, for what to me seemed like the longest time. I started losing my strength and breath but i kicked up again. I saw Vera told me to turn Ollie around, and i screamed, "I cant!" and then i went down again. from under the water i saw Vera coming our way. She strangle Ollie's neck, and that made Ollie stop moving and that, made it easier for us to help her. Vera pulled Ollie, while Devi and I pushed from under the water. When Vera kick off her feet to fight the current, she kicked Devi, and Devi started to sink. That's when i felt tired and then i got under and sucked in by the current. I don't know how long i was in the water but then i resurfaced again. Once we are all save, i grabbed Ollie. Both of us were trembling. i was in shock, i started to cry. I can't forgive myself if anything were to happen to her.
After everything was over, we got up the river, there i found my self freezing. I can't move. From ankle to my heart, i was frozen. I told my self, "Nina you are in shock, fight it! breathe. breathe.breathe." Then i started to tremble again. I let everyone walked ahead of me. While on the way back i steadied my thoughts, i concentrated on the slippery paths. After we all got to the assembly point, i hugged Ollie. i said, "i'm so sorry! so sorry! It's my fault!" then i cried while everyone started to hug me. Everything was ok and i was quiet all the way to our next destination. I was still quiet even the day after. I feel like that right now. Like i just resurfaced. Still in shock. Tremble. I hide it well, but even now, as i'm writing this story, my hand is shaking, and crying. I can't thank God enough for helping us that day. It was God's help, i'm sure of it. Otherwise, the three of us might not survived. Right now, i'm praying so that i can wake up from this aftershock.
Everyday, i feel encouraged but then pulled down again and again. It really is like that day in that waterfall. I keep fighting, keep trying to resurface, but there's always something that pull me down again. I did a great presentation in the morning then some incidents happen in the afternoon. I got a lousy morning, then hopeful noon, and a decent afternoon, only to get discouraging emails at night. I'm so tired, and i hate that I'm in so much need of support and words of affirmations from others.
I just survived a life and death situation and a tremendous hurt. I'm now trying to find my self again. I need to remember myself again. Who am i, what am i good at, what am i to others? Do i really have any impact in anyone's life? or am i just deluding myself? I wish i can find out for sure what i mean to people out there. Not my work, but just me, as a person. Do i actually matter? Do anything i say or do actually make a difference? I don't know. I hope these things will be revealed to me soon.
Dear God, thank You for saving my life. Can You show me, what do you want me to do next? I trust in Your leadership, God. Please show me the way. Amen.
Sunday, 20 November 2016
I was asked to give a commencement speech on behalf of Atma Jaya Alumni, about how to get ahead and be successful in life. Here I tackled the anxiety that people have about millenials, and i also want the graduates to revisit their goals in life.
Tuesday, 18 October 2016
The difference between Facebook and Linked In are these : Facebook can show you which of your friends who are actually shallow and racist, Linked In can show you who are the most boastful of their achievements and opinions plus you get a sense of how many chauvinist swine that are still alive and well in this world.
Sample : Whenever i declare my self as a feminist, in Facebook i'd be unfollowed and some (may have) branded me bad. Just as bad as communist. In Linked In, I'd be high-fived, or will get in-mail that say things like, " just another girl-power dumb lass"
People still have these rules about being powerful women. They don't even know what feminist means, and a lot associated that word with bad, immature, uncontrollable, wild, disrespectful women. This is just as bad as not knowing Islam and branded them as terrorist, or not know knowing Christianity and give them derogatory names. the term "Powerful Women" is still associated with cold, ambitious, heartless, political, back-stabber, lonely home, lonely children, etc. The feeling that radiated from you getting the tittle "Powerful Woman" are often contempt, anger, disgust, jealousy, and then you'll hear all these nonsense assumptions about your inability to keep a happy life and a happy home.
Being a "Girl Boss" is no different. In my early days being a boss, i faced so many hatred from lots of vendors that i dealt with. I was given so many names simply for demanding what i have paid for. Though, we all have come a long way in 13 years, but i still get stupid questions whenever i'm seen too busy, go travel, or on business trips. The dumbest yet the most F.A.Q that i get is this, "Your kids, who are they with right now?" or in Bahasa, "Anaknya sama siapa, mba?" Normally i smiled and elaborate where they are and who is taking care of them at the moment (as if that's any of their business), but sometimes, just sometimes i'd like to reply by saying, "yeah, i left them alone, no, actually i neglected them. They are now alone, in the house, without anyone taking care of them, no food, and just let them fend for themselves."
Whenever i give the short version of my child-care-plan-while-mommy-is-busy, i'd still get asked so many questions. So i have to explain, all the time, That, at the moment, their dad/grandparents armed with nannies (plural) and maid and driver are there with them. I have left them with menus, and meal plans, and money too. I've also wrote down emergencies number of each kid's pediatricians, not to mention all kinds of what to do's when kids get a mild fever, or fell sick, or vomiting, or whatever illness that can happen whenever i'm out. Oh btw, i've also left enough entertainment options, study guides, worksheets to study and to play with. I also call my kids from time to time, that even they feel their mommy calls too often.
You'd think people will shut up after hearing this, but alas, no. The next question will be, "Is your husband okay with you being successful?" Zzzz. Snore. People need to come up with other questions. Seriously. My answer would be short, "We attract what we are. If we are insecure women, then we'll attract insecure men. I am an Empress, i attract Kings and Emperors. They like who i am, and they need a partner in life like myself to build an Empire with. I married a King, and he's proud of his Queen."
I am a girl boss and i am proud of who i am. I don't care about the rules that people try to make me follow. Like the rules that says,
"A women should never be ambitious." (whatever)
"A women should not be too strong, or too gentle. " (huh?)
"A woman should wear power dress or power suit." (i wear what i want, i'll wear that dress because i want to, not because people told me too)
"A professional woman should never look too hot, or too cold." (Baby, I'm just too hot to handle, and too cool care)
I don't care what people think of me. Whenever people say baseless hurtful things, and have this excuse to justify their comments, "Hey, we have the right to say whatever we want." I'd just rolled my eyes and scroll away. None of us has the right to other people's lives and the way they choose to live them. So people look down on you? The only people who will do that, are the insecure ones. The ones that needed other people's admiration. That's why they measure us against their standard. Because within the perimeter of that standard, they feel that they are better than us, and they need people to agree with them.
Seriously, who has time to deal with these people? Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said :
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
Plus i strongly believe in these saying too :
"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind”
So, pardon me when i say, "Off course people have the right to say whatever they want, but i also the right, to not give a shit."
I'm just too busy building my own life, and power ladies, don't we all?
Monday, 10 October 2016
Friday, 30 September 2016
I've had so many low points in my entrepreneurial journey, but these past 2 years has been the most challenging by far. Things just don't seem like it will get better. Sometimes, many times, i feel like i can't see the way, and merely lead with gut and faith.
Most of my friends tell me, repeatedly, that i will, once again lead the company out of the impossible. I said my thanks, but truthfully, it was getting harder and harder to believe what they believe.
Yet today, i was awaken, literally by thunderstorm and lighting. I got up, and as i was looking out the window, at 4.28 a.m from my 24th floor room in Hong Kong, i became aware that I woke up with the clearest head i've had in months.
Yeah, this is the day of transformation. This is the day that i believe, i can and i will lead us through.
Saturday, 24 September 2016
I'm a weird introvert. My Jungian type is INTJ, but my DISC is High D and High S. Yeah, i'm complex to say the least :)
Anyway, in this video we talk about my weirdness, please watch, like, and comment ya. Thank you so much!
Friday, 16 September 2016
Wednesday, 14 September 2016
I met a friend, Maya. Who i've known for a long time. All this time, i have never realized that we are kindred spirit. But i guess that's what happen if we are introverts. We kinda absorb life inward, living in our own little world. When we were young, these weirdness is just... weird. It kinda disconnect you from people.
As we grow older and came to know how to navigate through our noisy mind and quirky feelings, i found out, we still crave for human connection. Just in our own quiet ways. I enjoyed our talk. It was heartwarming, enlightening, and somehow my heart longs for the next time i would feel this connection again. Yet, being a true introvert, even though i was stirred with the meeting, and so looking forward to do it again, i still feel exhausted. Weird. even i think it's weird. It doesn't matter if i like the person or not, meeting people always drain me. No matter if enjoy meeting them or not, i will always feel very tired afterwards. I guess, the longer i know the person, the more at ease i become when i'm around them. But, it does not change the after effect. I still need alone time to recharge.
Btw, i've been going to JPCC for the last 6 weeks. In JPCC they have small communities called D.A.T.E. We just joined 2 weeks ago and today is our second meeting in this group gathering. It's funny how i'm not anxious around them by this second meeting. I don't know if it's because i have been pushing my boundaries lately, or really because of something else. Or maybe it is both.
It is so not me to make a youtube channel. It's very very scary for me. I think i look so hostile or tired in the videos, but i just make my self thinking, "It's ok. just keep at it, you'll get better at it." So even though i feel anxious all the time, i try to chill. You know, even as i'm typing this, i kept thinking that i should take down the videos. They suck, i suck. They don't matter. That's what i kept thinking to my self.
But, i'm giving my self my own advice to Maya. Nothing we do is ever wasteful. We just have to do our part. Just do our part. we never know if what we do is being used by God to create miracles. We might never know it too. But we just need to do our part.
So this post is for the other introverts out there. My kindred spirits. My soul sisters. Sometimes, we got to push our boundaries. Get uncomfortable. Get to be someone we are not. Someone better. Someone stronger. Because, that's our calling in this life. To be God's tool to create miracles. Miracles we might never see, miracles we might never know, miracles we might never get any credit for. I can't tell you what's in it for you, when we do all these. But i do know one thing, our lives will never be a wasted life.
Friday, 9 September 2016
This is my second video for my youtube channel. Do visit, like, comment, share, and subscribe ya, thank you!
Btw, i got great feedbacks from people to add english subtitle in the video. Friends in linked in wanted them so they can watch and recommend to people. Another friend of mine told me, subtitle would be helpful for people with hearing disability like her.
So since this is a long weekend and i can't (well, actually i'm just too lazy) to go to the office to edit the videos, i thought i'll just write the text in my video here.
video text :
Hi welcome back here, with me Nina Moran.
Today i have a question from Diana Rikasari, Thank you so much for the question.
Ok first, wait a second, she asked.. "What scares you the most?"
Umm, thats, a difficult question. OK hmm, what scares me the most, maybe.. the obvious answer would be, to lose the people that we, i, love, because they are my source of power and happiness. probably that. But if you want a less obvious answer, i think my biggest fear, what scares me the most is, if my work does not have value anymore for other people. Because i'm the kind of person that, above all, i want to be an impactful person for others. I don't mind if people don't remember my name, but mmm i would love it if something i do really mean something to people. even if it's just one people, i mean one person, not one people. Because one inspired person can change the world, can change anything and able to create things beyond our imagination. So, i guess it will scare the hell out of me, if i don't matter anymore. What i mean by that is, if or when my life and my work, are not meaningful for other people. That.. that's pretty scary.
And then umm, her second question : What is my main priority right now?
So, Gogirl! used to be just Gogirl! right now we are Aprilis Companies. In Aprilis Companies we have several companies. Aprilis Media has, well, is Gogirl. But even Gogirl! is not just a print magazine anymore, Gogirl is actually Gogirl! media because we are also a website, social media, youtube channel, the whole thing. We are also, actually Gogirl also do a lot of activations for our clients.
Aside from Gogirl media, i mean, Aprilis Media, we also have Picnic. Picnic is a retail company, we sells clothes online and at Pondok Indah Mall (jakarta), The jacket that i wore on the previous video and this one are from Picnic.
We also have Aprilis Consultant Creative, wait... Aprilis.. well the brand name is in english, but the company is in bahasa indonesia. Anyway, ACC is a like a production house. We have in-house team to make videos, ads, etc. Which normally we used to create contents through out our companies.
Now the new one is called Resonance. Resonance is actually and online & offline activation agency. What we do is, we create integrated activations online that is tied with "real life" events. The target market of Resonance is older than Gogirl! segment. Resonance was a department in Gogirl that handles all internal and client's activations, but after 9 years, we feel that this very successful department needs to be "released" from Gogirl. So we did and we brand it Resonance. The reason is, so that we are not limited to cater teens' (activations). Because there are so many loyal Gogirl! readers that's already grown up, and we feel it's such a shame if we don't create online and offline activities for them. That's what we are working on right now. Maybe we can say that, Resonance is a start up, and it's my focus right now. Resonance has a big dream. Next year, resonance is going to organize a conference, a pretty big one. We really believe that from this conference we can build a community, and we can share a lot of positivity, for.. well, our aim is for women whose age is above Gogirl, but if suppose teens, and probably men would like to join us, than, it's okay too. That's my main focus right now. I really believe in Resonance. Because, i don't know, i have, i rejected a lot of big opportunities so that i can run Resonance. I.. I.. i just want to make Resonance as impactful as Gogirl! but for age segment that more... mature than Gogirl. That's my main focus right now.
Now third question, wait, the third one... "Why is it important to be a successful woman?"
Because you need to have your own self worth, and success is.. people's definition of success is varied. But it is important to be successful in whatever you want to. You want to be a successful house mother, i mean house mom, why not? you wan to be a successful career person, why not? you want to be a successful athlete, why not? you want to be a successful entrepreneur, go ahead, what's stopping you? But why is it so important tone successful? Because, you need to have that, that, that goal in life. That makes you feel,"my life has meaning. my life is not an accidental living."So that we don't live our lives while sleepwalking. I mean, it's like, everyday, we live without aim, we live well, coincidentally, because we were born, and then we are here in this world, not really knowing what we are doing here. That's not the kind of... That shouldn't be your life! Because if we live, and we a have an aim to.. to a place, or to a measurement of success, it makes us, everyday, we live our life with.. with.. i don't know.. hmm.. purpose and aim. It's very different. the feeling, compare to if you live everyday, like you wake up because you just woken up. Whatever you are going to do today, is random. It's just very different. It's like if you go to work just because you have to, compare to you go to work because that's what you want to do, that's what makes you happy. Your quality of life is just very different. If we are a house wife, and we play that role with joy, like every day we are so grateful and we really want to become a better and better mom. Or if we want to be even better wives for our husbands, our life, will be, joyful, like we have a goal. I don't know.. it's just that, like our lives are not meaningless. Like there's a purpose of our lives.
So i think why we need to be successful, yea, first for ourselves. So that we can feel, that, we are beneficial to others, meaningful, that we.. are worthwhile. That's why we need to be a successful person not just a successful woman.
For my religious belief, why i need to be successful is because, we live in servitude towards God. We have to have.. we need to live the role that God intended from our lives. There has to be a reason why we live in this world. There has to be a purpose that God intended, or there's a role that God what us to play or realized or make come true. It's just not possible that all our lives are in vain. It's just not possible that there's no purpose in each of our lives. So i believe that i was put in this world, to live that role or purpose or goal that even i can't imagine my self. So to be successful is part of servitude to God. It's part (of the reason) we dedicate our lives for noble intentions, to glorify God, to use our lives to help others, and..
Why shouldn't you be a successful person? right?
Okay, that's my answers. Thank you so much Diana, for your very difficult, and very insightful questions.
For everyone who wants to ask questions, you can put your questions in the comment section, or you can just put your question randomly on my instagram, or you can email me in nina_juliana@ gogirlmagazine.com go ahead, so thank you, thank you so much for joining me in this video, don't miss and click my other videos! Bye!
Tuesday, 6 September 2016
Saturday, 3 September 2016
Wednesday, 31 August 2016
i can't remember the last time i don't think about tomorrow
the last time i don't have anything to do and lay low
the luxury of time that travels slow
i can't remember the time when love is a dream
because everything is never how it seems
i've seen friends lose themselves in pretend
like their search of meaning knows no end
other times i see how lonely we are
or angry because of deeds that's gone too far
they say never settle for less
because we deserve the best
but, so deep is the fall
from reality to the dream of having it all
no one has it all
but that does mean sad at all
we are under the illusion that we have control
but many times i feel like i'm playing a game with no console
i have a conviction
though many times they feel like fiction
like i'm lying to my self
like i'm selling a perfection
i was told by a friend,
"nina you are a legend"
maybe is should believe her
so that i can become her
i'm out of balance
but i'm not forsaken
my fire is dim within the absence
i'm disoriented yet i am strong
i'm trying to recenter, reclaim where i belong
i'm not a tag-along
i'm a lioness, a queen all along
i just have to remember that before too long
Sunday, 28 August 2016
Tuesday, 23 August 2016
I'm starting a youtube channel soon. I have some ideas on what shows i'm going to do, but i really wanna hear what do people want to know from me. I mean, i'm surprise that there are people who actually read my blog, so i'm guessing you guys, probably waiting for me to share some stuff that interest you.
So anyway, i'm going to list some ideas that i have, and see if you guys like any of it, or have other ideas in mind.
8. Life skill : the things we need to learn to be a better or happier person.
So, what do you guys think? which one you like best or look forward to? do you have any suggestions?
Let me know in comment below. Thank you!
Monday, 8 August 2016
Wednesday, 3 August 2016
Wednesday, 27 July 2016
Monday, 25 July 2016
Wednesday, 29 June 2016
Thursday, 2 June 2016
I have big dreams, and every time i think about the dreams, it made me want to cry. Every time i close my eyes i see my name, and my self on a big stage. Aprilis Conference in 37 countries. Not only in Indonesia, i see my self speaking, on stage in Rio, Amsterdam, Paris, London, Budapest, Somewhere in Norway, Las Vegas, somewhere in Italy, Greece, i see lights, i see my self in a state of wonder that things can happen. I see my self dedicating each conference for my children. I see my self saying, "and lastly, as always, this is for you my kids, Andrew, Noelle, Bela, i have proven my times over that dreams can come true, We just have to start believing in it, and believing in the power of God to make our greatest of intentions come to live."
I see this vision every morning, every time i'm alone, every time my mind drift away. For that many moments in my out of body state, i truly believe it. i truly believe it's going to be. And then i went back to my body, and saw how crazy i am to have these feelings. I feel a big urge to delete this as i write it. Because of the Agnez Mo situation, i'm scared of telling the whole world my dream. You know right, Agnez monica had stated so many years ago that she will go international, and until today, people still hung up on her words, and mock her dreams. Some laugh and think she's full of shit. People don't understand that she might still be on her journey. That's seems to be what happen when you anounce your big dreams, people give you a timeline on when you should achieve it. I'm scared to write down and admit my dreams because i'm afraid people will take me up on it. In my mind, it's going to take probably decades to get to that dream, but, people may think i'm going to make this happen soon or under 5 years. I'm scared that i'll be branded full of shit. I'm afraid that i will make my self believe, that i am full of shit.
Gosh, all this thoughts is tiring me.
I have so much to do, but my mind is taking me else where.
Wednesday, 1 June 2016
Aaight, i admit it, i did it, and most def will do it again.
Honestly i think, what i'm doing is so vain, but i can't stop my self. It's like reading testimonials about yourself, you read and re-read it many times over. Or, maybe that's just me?
Anyway, from articles and people's book review i get so many previews of the ways people see my sisters and me. People call us The Moran Sisters, and we always jerked a little bit whenever we hear that. Not that we don't like it. It's just a little weird, it made me feel like a star that was given a nickname by the public. You know, like J-lo, olsen twins, etc. I feel like i don't deserve the fame, somehow. I don't know.
I know now that people see us as hard worker, and a lot admire us for that. We are very honored off course, but a lot of times, what we did to achieve success were really just survival instinct. Our dad gave us all of his saving to support us, and if we messed up, Githa (was only 17 when we started) won't be able to go to college. We can't let that happened.
The Moran family, had gained a little bit of fame since our uncle and aunty gained their success in the business world and frequently grazed the pages of respectables magazines. My uncle and aunty have 4 sons, and 2 of them : my cousins Robin Moran directed a movie, and his brother Mickey Moran became a famous DJ (they are great business people too). So, when we first started, my sisters and i had to grew out of very big shadows of great, talented and successful people. Wherever we go, people think we must have come from a successful and wealthy family like they did. Well, if you read my book, you'd know that that's not true. We weren't poor, but we were not wealthy either. Way back then, when people hear Moran, they remember my uncle and aunty and their sons. I'm proud of them, they also started from nothing and they worked extremely hard to get their success, but even prouder now that when i google our family name or my name, the search also shows our story. I'm happy to be able to make a name for my self. Does that make sense?
Btw, do you google yourself?
On the side note:
Since i started the business until now, i feel like i have a lot of knowledge and experience to share. So, i'm going to set up a video segment in GogirlmagzTv (that's Gogirl's Youtube channel), where people can just ask me anything. So, i'm going to start pulling in questions. If you have any, please list them here. I will answer them in the video, or if you prefer i can answer them here too.
Monday, 30 May 2016
Thursday, 19 May 2016
Tuesday, 3 May 2016
Thursday, 28 April 2016
Wednesday, 27 April 2016
Wednesday, 13 April 2016
For me, those believes are just, weird. It's different if you really love being a house mom, or if you simply can't afford nannies. But if you don't work or don't want a nanny just because it's uncool (what?), it's just weird.
Look i'm not here to say, those believes are wrong. I'm just saying doing anything for the wrong reason is bad. The wrong reason here : to get approval from our peers. To be seen as a cool mom, a wonder woman. It gets worse when moms look down on other moms for not being cool. Seriously, are we all still in high school or what?
I think, we were put in this world to do what God intended us to when He created us. We are women, and that makes us daughters, sisters, wives, moms, and grandmas. But those were not the only things that God intended us to become. That's why we have talents. It was given so that we can grow, to realized our potential, to be God hands in this world.
Sometimes it drives me crazy when some friends' only posts are how smart, how deep, how religious their children are. Don't get me wrong. We are moms after all, we are our kids' number one fan. I get it. I'm like that too. The thing that bugs me is when the kid became my friends' entire life. So much so, that their words and captions made me think : "Probably these kids are used as a measurement of what great mothers they are." I mean, even when people don't work, i don't believe in not having anything else than the kid. Kids are God's gifts, they are one of the greatest things that happen in our lives, but again, they are not the only ones. When we throw away our talent and not do anything to hone it, it's really such a waste. A waste of time, a waste of potential, and a waste of God's purpose.
What if we are a good cook, maybe God had intended us to be a chef or a caterer, or a restauranteur. We could be God hands in creating cook books, great cuisines, inspire people, create jobs, etc. Instead, we cower behind these thoughts "what would my friends think of me if i'm busy? or "people will think i'm not a dedicated mom if i have nannies to help me."
In my family, the women are always busy. Our moms and aunties might not always work in an office, but they do work or have their own businesses and they hired help (mba or nannies). They didn't (and still don't) hide behind the stereotype of working women, which i'm sure were even greater at their time. By the way, despite being busy, their children grew out alright. Some, even better than alright.
It really made me sad to see this trend. When will we women really be free to realized our full potential, if now, it's the other women (not just men like it used to) who became the barriers that hinder a lot of us to do more?
Having 3 kids, i'm seeing that, even if my children can get attached to their nannies, they still have great bonds with me. We have quality times and it's all about being discipline with our time. That's why i don't really have pictures of me playing with my kids. Because when i'm home or going out with them, my phone usually no where near me. We have huge sofa at home and most of the time we cuddle together under blankets to watch their favorite episode of Larva or Peppa Pig for the 1198 times. When i talk to andrew about values and important things, i very rarely post them. When i went out with noelle to go shopping, i don't post how cute she was when she tried on multiple clothes. When i'm with them, i'm with them.
Pretty soon, kids have their own friends and activities. Andrew have been nagging me to let him take drum and guitar classes, noelle loves to dance, so is her sister. They all love swimming lessons too. When they do, i sometimes go with them, but a lot of times i made them make friends. Join other kids, so that they become independent kids. When i got home from work, everybody are dying to share stories of their day. My children, well, andrew is proud of my achievements too. More than once he told me how awesome my job is, and he insisted on coming with me on my book tours and told everyone, "That's my mom!"
So it's really about showing our love and making time for them. It really is not anybody else's business how we mother our kids and we should not seek their approval. (Don't get me started on moms who think that just because they delivered their babies normally meant they are better moms than the ones delivered with c-section method) We will make so many mistakes in our lives, but maybe we shouldn't make the unnecessary ones, like letting people's opinion dictate our lives.
We have a duty to God to realized His plans and intentions for us. Because, whatever talents and purpose that God intended for us, it is a great plan. A blueprint of greatness. Greater than what we can ever imagine. Greater than what we deemed ourselves worthy. Who are we to deny that? Why would we want to deny God's purpose, for the sake of looking like a cool mom?
Shouldn't we start asking, "Why did God gave me these talents? What did He want me to do with it? What do God wanted me to become?"
Shouldn't we begin the real journey of finding the true purpose, of why we were put in this world?
Because we really can, you know, be all that we can be and have it all.