Sometimes, even in morning time i feel like it's already mid day.
i feel like i need a quiet time, some alone time, as if i've been having a busy day.
But the truth is, i've been having a very busy mind. From the moment i gain consciousness my head is busy. With words. With reminders. With worries. With plans. With guilt. With promises. With chores. With lists.
It's like i'm working on autopilot. Then when it's quiet, like now, in the car, otw to work. I feel tired. My mind wander to the smell of coffee. Like it's 4 in the afternoon. When actually my day has not even started yet.
Then i saw this post by mommies daily about a reminder to slow down. Posted in a poem, supposedly written in a child point of view. And i think, "jeez, thanks a lot, like i need another thing to feel guilty about."
People are just insensitive sometimes. Or maybe i'm just touchy. I'm exhausted and fighting every nudge towards depression.
I'm doing my best. In ways that i know and don't know. I'm constantly learning. But being a mother of 3 is hard. I feel like i need support from other moms. Not posts that make me feel even guiltier than i already do.
Okay, it's time to unfollow mommies daily. Sorry Hani.