Friday, 28 August 2015

Nightmares again

I woke up panting and angry again. 

I dreamt that i was in court, where my counterpart was not. This is the countless time that they do this. I picked up the phone and start yelling at them untill i was out of breath and stuttering frantically.

Then i woke up. Still angry. In fact, anger overpowered me that i can barely think. 

Then i breathe. A little voice in my head said to me,"Breathe. You are worrying. Remember last sunday's sermon. Have faith. Do not worry."

I know i do that. I contemplate a lot. And my reasoning normally comes to calm me down. If you've seen inside out, lately sadness and anger has been in control. My joy is fighting like crazy to win. But right now, there are 2 other heroes in my head that are keeping me sane. It's my reasoning and my will. 

I'm so tired. My husband is out of town. Usually when i have nightmares, i curl up closer to him. I used his body temprature to calm me. Normally this trick work because he is always a lot warmer than me, and because of that, I always can go back to sleep. But he's not here right now. 

So i blog. To tire my self to sleep.

I am tired though. I wish my children slept here last night. Hmm. I should just try to go back to sleep.

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