If you look at that picture (taken earlier today). How old do you think i am?
Most people think that i'm in my late 20s, mostly say 28. Well, actually i'm going to be 36 in August this year.
I normally hate the number of my age. No matter how many books i read about what a blessing getting older is, i'm still terrified of this process. I heard i'm going to still feel this way until i reach my sixties.
It is such a bleak future to gaze upon, if i, like most women choose to go down that road of denial. Even so, it's still the path that i'm drawn to. Like a moth to the flame and so forth, i feel the pull to hating the aging process is stronger than the path of gracefull acceptance.
That being said, i do sometimes hated the way that most people (well, most older people) in the industry still literally call me "anak ingusan". I mean, "seriously?"
I dragged the times i have to say that i am actually 35, a mother of 3, with more than 14 years of entrepreneurial experiences. Only when i introduces my self that way, then the energy in the room will shift. After the usual, "What? Really?" the men will then stared blankly, and the women made obvious mental note to ask my beauty regimes later. But after that moment passed, then the discussion become very different. I'll be seen and talked to as equals. Not as the new kid, who's only there for the food.
So, at this point, i don't know whether i wanna be eternally young (i do I DO! - heart) (shut up, you are not making sense!-head). I mean, yeah, i wanna always look 22 (face, body, umm specially boobs), have the energy of a 22 too, but i want the respect people gave to 42 year old woman, forever. I'd say, that's wishfull thinking, but i don't believe in impossibility anymore.
So, we'll see.