Pertanyaan Seminar

Tgl 4 April nanti, aku akan jadi pembicara seminar bareng Pak Ridwan Kamil di Atma Jaya Jakarta. Seminarnya tentang kepemimpinan dan hari ini panitia sudah mengirimkan daftar pertanyaan yang akan dibahas di seminar nanti.

Karena seminarnya bareng pejabat, pertanyaannya lumayan ajaib buat aku. Ada beberapa yang bikin aku hampir keselek saking kebayang bakal beda banget jawabanku sama Pak Pejabat. 

Pertanyaan kaya apa sih? Mending nanti dateng aja ke Atma tanggal 4 April ya. (Bisa hub panitia @himemuaj di instagram). Tapi mungkin aku bisa kasih bocoran sedikit, salah satu pertanyaannya gini :

Gimana cara anda memperjuangkan nasib pegawai anda?

Di otak aku, sebagai walikota, pastinya Pak Ridwan Kamil bakal jawab yang nggak jauh-jauh sama usaha-usaha pro-rakyat. Sementara aku? Untungnya pertanyaan ini dikasih tau sekarang. Kalo engga, Jangan-jangan aku ngakak di tempat, nggak sopan banget kan?

Ini kedua kalinya aku ditanya pertanyaan yang bikin aku antara terperangah dan geli sendiri. Kenapa? Karena betapa jauhnya kenyataan dunia usaha sama ekspektasi penanya. Kalau ditanya apa usaha aku memperjuangkan karyawanku, di otak aku, apa penanya berpikir pemimpin perusahaan itu memang normalnya memperjuangkan nasib karyawannya? Beda sama pejabat negara yang memang bertugas mengayomi, melindungi, memperbaiki kualitas hidup rakyat yang dipimpinnya, pemimpin perusahaan bertugas mempunyai visi ke masa depan, membawa bukan cuma profit tapi juga growth. Jadi lucu saat pertanyaan ini dilontarkan ke pimpinan perusahaan, karena kita nggak (mainly) bertugas memperjuangkan nasib karyawan kita. Karena tujuannya growth, jadi kalau karyawannya nggak mau diajak maju, ya nggak perlu diperjuangkan. Bukan artinya kita akan semena-mena sama hak-hak karyawan kita, tapi di dunia bisnis, nggak ada mindset seperti itu. 

Aku kebayang, ngomong kayak gini nanti mungkin akan ngasih kesan kalau aku punya hati sedingin es atau mimpin dengan tangan besi. Tapi kenyataannya emang gitu. Dunia kerja itu keras banget buat semua pihak. Keras buat pengusahanya, keras juga buat karyawannya. Kita dituntut untuk bisa terus beradaptasi sama segala hambatan & rintangan, dan sering banget, karyawannya nggak siap atau nggak kuat untuk berubah. Saat perusahaan dan karyawan udah nggak 1 ritme, pengusaha harus ngambil keputusan-keputusan sulit kayak mendemosi atau melepaskan karyawan itu untuk pergi. Ini berat, tapi keputusan berat kayak gini cuma salah satu dari banyak banget keputusan yang harus diambil pimpinan perusahaan. Langkah yang tentunya kebalikan dari memperjuangkan nasib si karyawan yang dia pimpin. 

Sepertin aku bilang, ini kedua kalinya aku ditanya pertanyaan mirip. Pernah, di pembahasan lain di seminar MEA aku ditanya gini, "Sebenernya kualitas pekerja Indonesia kayak apa sih dibanding pekerja lain di Masyarakat Ekonomi Asia?" Pertanyaan ini dilontarkan setelah 3 pembicara ngungkapin selama 1,5 jam bahwa, standar etos kerja kita kurang banget dibanding etos kerja tenaga kerja di negara MEA. Setelah kita capek-capek bilang, MEA atau enggak, keberhasilan seseorang jarang ditentukan dari standar pelajaran yang mereka dapat di universitas, lebih ke sikap diri yang terus mau usaha lebih, belajar terus menerus, dll. Tapi tetap aja nanya pertanyaan di atas. Masalahnya pertanyaan kayak gini membuat aku berpikir, apakah mentalitas anak muda sekarang segitu manjanya? Maunya nggak ekstra usaha, kuliah aja bikin kita udah bisa bersaing di pasar MEA? Maunya nggak usah belajar new skill sesuai perubahan jaman karena nasib dia di dunia kerja harus dilindungi bahkan diperjuangkan sama bosnya? Maunya aman, nyaman, tanpa harus banyak perjuangan dari dirinya sendiri? Haruskah nasib kita ditentukan oleh sekolah kita? dosen kita? pejabat kita? pemimpin kita? Why? Kenapa kita nggak bisa cari cara sendiri? Kenapa nggak fight buat nasib kita sendiri? 

Aku pikir selama masih ada pertanyaan yang kayak gini, mungkin artinya masih banyak banget orang mikir nasib mereka ada ditangan orang lain, keadaan, atau ditangan kesempatan. Padahal kalau kita mau maju, semua ini harus kita ciptakan dan perjuangkan sendiri. Tentunya berbekal doa dan iman atas penyertaan Tuhan di dalamnya.

Anyway, kayanya seminarnya bakal seru nih. Nggak sabar nunggu tgl 4 April! 😊😊😊

May i have your services for free?

Yesterday, a friend of mine screen-cap a twitter mention. It says, "Hi, can we have coffee, plus do a personal consultation, but for free? Thank you."

Well, this friend of mine has a lot friends that sells services for a living. They are psycologist, writers, coywriters, graphic designers, financial planners, public speakers, videographers, art directors, business consultants, illustrators, etc. So of course, this post made us all told our own tales of people shamelessly asking us to give our services for free.

Here's the thing. The day has come for us to speak up. Because, i think it's time for people to understand what we actually feel when we do not have the heart to say No.

Every human being were given a gift or some gifts by God. These gifts were meant to be used to make a living and make us feel happy while doing it.

Some people are good with money and investments, so they became financial planners. Some people good at doing business, so they sell business consultancies. A lot of people can write a copy that moves people to buy, so they became copywriters. Tons of people are good at drawings, or designs, or manage an events, so they became illustrators, designers, and event organizers.

All these people made our pinterest board filled with beautiful array of inspirations and aspirations. Table settings, event decorations, flower arrangements, artwork, beautiful photography, etc. 

Other people have expertise that we rarely get from school or universities. We learn a lot from them through seminars, workshops, talk shows, their youtube channel, their books, etc.

I think all these people sells things that made everything more beautiful and meaningful. Yet, they are some of the most undervalued people in our country. 

People had repeatedly came to me to ask Gogirl to write or produce a video content for their websites or inhouse magazine. The catch was, they wanted it for free or would only pay 1/10 of our price. When we politely declined, they replied by shaming us, like we were gold diggers for asking our rate. 

Most often, i get asked a lot to speak at multiple events, but when i ask for my fee, they grew annoyed or shamed me or belittle me or saying things like, "We never have to pay for a speaker." Or "This event is for students only, can you waive your fee." or "Are you dreaming? No speaker is that expensive!"

The thing is, it's really okay if people does not want to use my service or if i'm too expensive for some people. But it crossed the line when they said things that made me feel like i don't matter. Like my experiences and expertise does not worth that much. 

What i share in speaking occasions are 1. My Time, 2. My Experience, 3. My Expertise. I recently calculate how much my time worth at www.clearerthinking.org and the result was : 1 hour of my time worth US$ 466 per hour or about 6 million rupiah per hour. What this means is, if i work for less than 6 mio per hour, i'm wasting money. Now if take a speaking job, usually it takes about 2-3 hours. Let's factor in the time i need to spend to get to the location, and then, normally after the gig it self, people do come over and talk to me and ask me more questions. Very often, i had to do a mini therapy session right then and there, because there are always people whose root problems are mainly huge ego or huge self doubt. So i'd spend half a day for one speaking event. It means that time is worth about 24-36 mio. Now if i spend 4-6 hours working on my business, i would have had about 9 one on ones meetings, close 2 deals that worth a lot, and i'd use the time left to chop of some big project. So is it so surprising if I charge 7-15 million per speaking job? It's already a lot of discount from how much my time actually worth, but that's when people started giving me all the hurtful responses. Rejection is fine. But the added resentment, well that's a bit much. Other times people say things like, "You make so much money, can't you do this for charity?" I think the key to any charity is that, it has to be for a cause that move us, and we have to want to give it from our hearts. When people ask us to give our services for charity, it kinda feel like forced charity.

I guess the best that i can show you how it feel is this. Do you know those booths from Unicef, WWF, SOS, Yayasan Jantung Indonesia? You know how they corner you, and ask you all these question, and basically ask you to give your heart (and money) to a good cause. How many of us care about children and animal wellfare? Countless, i bet. But forced charity isn't something we enjoyed doing or giving. Does that mean we are insensitive human being? No. We just don't feel good when people guilt trip us to do something, no matter how good the causes are.

You see, that's how people feel when you ask "forced charity" as in giving our services and advices for free or a ridiculusly cheap rate. Think about how you feel, when people guilt trip you to do something. Think about how you feel, when people tell you that your time doesn't matter to them. Think about how you feel when people used you, overworked you, and pay you nothing or such a small salary. When we are undervalued, it can make our self-worth sink deeper everytime we completed a job. How can we be happy, when we feel robbed and unappreciated?

Here are some tips that you can do when you want to "hire" people to give you advices or do a creative job : 

1. Respect them. Never ask their fee for free. Paying fees too low (and too slow) are just as bad as asking it for free.

2. You can ask, what will you get from the fees that you are paying, and then you can compare them to other speakers, experts, designers, etc. This is your right as a client. 

3. You should factor in, what else they'll give you other than the service alone. For instance. I stay behind after speaking jobs for an hour (max) to talk to participants, which i think is very private and beneficial for them. The comittee can actually manage this and ask me to do a real private session and they could (and should) sell it exclusively to smaller number of participants.

4. Ask for a package deal.

5. Barter or semi-barter is okay, but remember, what you give should have a real monetary/profit value for the person you want to hire. You can ask them what they want, because what's valuable to them might be different to what you have in mind.

6. Remember, to people who sells services, time is their most valuable asset. So if you can't afford their private sessions, invest yourselves in their books, seminars, workshops, talkshows, public classes, online classes, etc. Trust me, What you'll get from them, (most of the time) will definitely last longer than those movie tickets-popcorns-blended drink combo you bought lastnight :D

Blue Bird oh Blue Bird

Terlepas dari semua fitnah yang beredar di Social Media terhadap Blue Bird, aku nggak bisa nggak geleng-geleng kepala terhadap manajemen mereka. 

Sebagai entrepreneur myself, aku ngerti kok, semuanya nggak sesimpel yang dinilai publik. Nggak mudah mengelola perusahaan sebesar Blue Bird, apalagi perusahaan itu makin lama berdiri makin susah buat berubah. Tapiiii..

Tapi gini lho mbak dan mas bos blue bird. The way that you've been leading Blue Bird for the past few years had driven away loyal customers like me. Complain tentang menurunnya kualitas armada, kualitas pengemudi (ini yang paling ngeselin sih), dll kan bukan hal yang baru. Tapi manajemen Blue Bird seperti menutup kuping saja. Entah in Denial atau bagaimana, ada saja alasan yang bisa dilontarkan representatif mereka. Beberapa tahun lalu sih orang ngelus dada aja, tapi sekarang kan banyak pilihan, jadi jangan heran kalau kita mikir, "why should we put up with bad service anymore?"

Business strategy 101 yang sudah aku pelajari lebih dari 1 dekade lalu ngasih pilihan strategy yg bisa diterapkan perusahaan:  milih low quality service -> low price, atau high quality service -> higher price. Nah masalahnya kompetitor Blue Bird ngasih High Quality Service with Low Price, sementara Blue Bird ngasih Low Quality Service with High Price. Kenapa heran kalau penjualannya lama-lama turun? 

Aku setuju kalau masalah tarif ini perlu dibenahi. Tapi percaya apa engga? Kalaupun uber harganya sama dengan Blue Bird, belum tentu orang-orang nggak tetap milih uber, atau grab, atau nebeng.com. Apalagi kalau mobil armada blue bird masih pada bau keringet atau bau rhemason, supirnya selalu sok bilang mau pulang kalo nggak mau nganter ke alamat tertentu, atau masih pada nggak tau jalan (ngotot & galak pula), tukang ck ck kalau macet, belom curhatan panjang tentang penghasilan yang nggak pernah cukup. Nowadays, people buy experience as much as the thing that we sell. Nggak percaya? Liat aja betapa lakunya restoran yang desainnya instagram friendly, atau lokasinya keren, walau makanannya nggak enak. 

Mau nyalahin PPAD? Atau supir-supir armadanya? Itu sama kaya orang tua nyalahin anaknya kalau anaknya bertingkah nggak menyenangkan. It's ridiculus. Please deh, nomer 1 yang bisa dilakukan manajemen : seleksi supir pake DISC aja deh. Itu paling simpel, cuma 10 menit & udah bisa menyingkirkan banyak kandidat yang tukang ngeluh. 

 No 2 : Dengerinlah keluhan pelanggan. Training kek supir-supirnya sebelum diterjunin beneran. Kalau ngga plis deh beliin penyangga HP buat dashboard trus ajarin cara pake Waze atau Google Map. Susah amat sih? 

No 3 : Sediain tolak linu & tolak angin & teh jahe buat supir-supir. Biar kalau nggak enak badan, bisa pakai obat herbal, bukan pakai koyo atau rhemason. 

No 4 : Ajarin kepekaan terutama saat bawa ibu hamil dan anak-anak. Jangan bawa mobil ndet-ndetan, atau sok mau drifting segala. Selain bahaya, mual banget kali.

No 5 : Kalau services udah dibenerin, update aja itu app. Jadi bisa bayar pake kartu kredit, atau kerja sama bareng BCA  & mandiri. Kalau bisa pake E-money atau  debit BCA, itu udah jauh lebih maju berapa langkah dibanding yang lain. 

Nggak semua pembeli itu price concious. Banyak kok yang nyari kenyamanan dan pelayanan dan mau bayar lebih. Jadi kalau kompetitor cuma lebih murah, yailah, masih banyak banget strategi yang bisa kita coba. Contoh aja deh, biar ada low budget airlines, kan airline yg full service juga laku-laku aja. Yang jelas Staying in denial, blaming competitors, blaming anything or anyone nggak akan ngubah apa-apa. Serius banyak yang bisa dicoba selain bilang, oh itu yg gerakin demo dari PPAD, oh itu supirnya udah keluar, oh kalo kita sih semua ikut aturan. Zzzz. Capedeh. If you ain't gonna listen, we ain't gonna be here to hear your bitchin. Y' know what i'm sayin?

A Great Day

I have taken control of my time and lately i witnessed the benefit of it. Take yesterday for instance. I had a full and very productive day. 

In the morning i did my pilates. I love my new trainer Joyce. She's hard on me but she's not pushy. She made me do pull up in every session, and everytime i can't do it. But she made me try. Well she made me put one foot on a trapeze and try to change the foot with the other while my hand colding on to a paralel bar above my head. It looks so easy when she does it, but i can't even move my legs to get in position, let alone change them. Although i was hopeles, she still made me try, everytime. And yesterday i did it! Only for a split second, but i did it! I was so overwhelmed with joy throughout the whole day because of it! It's just such a high to see my self beat my doubt. I experience my self beating my self. I experience that my mind is a wuss, and i AM stronger and more capable than i know. It's such a great feeling, an empowering feeling, that i wish a lot of people can feel and experience this.

After my pilates i had a meeting with my team leader, it was a good talk, and after that talk i ran towards my next meeting with my business coach. It was also a great meeting. We covered a lot of topic and it helped me made several dificult decisions. 

After that i ran to Kemang to tape 2 videos with Diana Rikasari. It was crazy fun, and i'm really bad at it, but totally loved it. 

After the taping, i had to rush to my next meeting at KOI, and there we covered a lot of stuff too. I love this kind of meeting, you know. We get to talk about difficult topic, uncomfortable truth, and some sharing of information that i need to discuss further with my sisters. 

Went home at about 8-ish, and i said to my husband, "I'm very happy today." And when i reached home, i had no trouble sleeping at all. I don't need the tv to be on, i don't anything to unwind. I fell asleep fast, had a dreamless sleep, straight untill morning.  

What a beautiful day. Thank You, God.

 

Solitude

That word is expensive for someone like me. I need it probably more than most people, but i don't get much of it. That's why, a lot of time i'll looking out any window i see and dream that i'm somewhere else. I don't say things like this out loud because people get to have the wrong impression about what those words mean. The people who don't  know me would think that i'm miserable, and the people who love me would feel hurt, because they think i'm unhappy, and that's because of them. They'd be wrong and i wont have the energy to explain. 

I heard, for people like me, it's better to wake up earlier. Get my dose of solitude and serenity before everything and everyone wake up. I haven't been able to do that. I still choose to sleep. A few years ago, pilates help me get my dose of solitude. When I concentrate on my breathing, form, poses, and movement, my mind emptied from everything else. That used to help, a lot. It hasn't help as much these days with easing my tension but i still feel tired and dream about sleeping all day. 

When i took the kids to swim a couple of days ago, i saw that maybe, i can go for a night swim there. I saw people do that whenever i go to Vin+ with Vera and i always want to try that. It's just that their locker room is pretty creepy and imagining going there at night made me put off the whole activity

It does not escape me that I secretly count every day that i don't get any alone time and i get melodramatic the longer i get any less. 

What is my ideal alone time? sleeping all day, back to back watching series, beach swimming, lazy evening with a glass of shiraz and a good book. All uninterrupted. *sigh* 

I dream of going to derawan, sumba, flores, labuan cermin, banda. I need the vitamin sea. But always, all the time, whenever i want to go, my children faces float around my head. It's not that i don't travel. I just got back from 2 trips and already i need another one. The happiest trip i had was probably the lombok trip last year. That was cool. I brought the kids and their nannies, my husband brought friends. It all worked out because  everyone was happy. I was happy to have a trip without the guilt of leaving the kids, and we to the ocean no less. I get to snorkel, my husband got his friends to recharge at night (extroverts need people to recharge), while i get my early sleep (introverts need alone time). Everybody happy. I think i need this kind of trip again soon. Need to start saving, this kind of trips are expensive. Because i need to fund a holiday for 5 adults and 3 kids. Better start saving now. 

I'm writing this at the hospital while waiting on Noelle. she's sleeping and i wish that i can too. I'm tired and i really need to sleep. If only i can. 

Oh well, might as well find a cup of coffee, the doctor will visit any time soon.

Acceptance in everyday marriage life

When i was in Sydney, a friend pointed out how my husband and i have nothing in common. She and her husband are two of my husband's oldest friends. They know each other since junior high. So of course they know a lot about him. They have met me several times during the course of probably 12 years or so. They pretty accurately observed how different i am with my husband. 

She asked, "So how is it that you guys managed to stay together all this time?" I said, "You are right. We have nothing in common except for our deeper values. I used to want him to be someone he's not. But now i'm happy. I accepted and love who he is. I take the bad with the good." 

The key really is acceptance. Thats the next step that we did after we learn to communicate. After the listening, came the acceptance. 

Yesterday we celebrate our 15th dating anniversary (Yes we celebrate 2 anniversaries a year. Our dating and wedding anniversary). It's been 15 years since we started going out and that should mean a real celebration. Yet, after we said happy anniversary and promised each other that we'll have dinner, we continued to work. 

It was probably about 9-ish in the morning, but i was already tired. It's been a tough week. Not bad. But i'm an introvert, so last week, was exhausting for me. I didn't realized it at first, but apparently i became impatient yesterday. My husband pointed it out, "OMG, why are you so cranky today?". 

I said, "What? You asked too many questions? you are pushing me!".

He was bewildered and said, "What? i'm just throwing in ideas, it's just questions."

I said, "To me, questions are problems that i need to solve. Bring me answers. Answers are solutions. Not questions. Don't bring me more problems."

He said, "Jeez." The he paused a few seconds and said, "You are tired. That's why you are angry all the time."

I didn't debate him. I refocussed and the discussions started. It was not untill i got home that i realized how tired i was. I was laying on our big sofa and i couldn't bring my self to get up. My husband asked if i'm still angry. I said no. I was just too tired that i just can't bring my self to get up, take a bath and sleep. He approached, stood me up and walked me to our room. I was already 1/2 asleep.

It's amazing still, that even though i tried my best to be friendlier, open, meet and spend time with people, even when i do enjoyed all those times, the activities took their toll on me. I haven't had any alone time for 10 days and my body was exhausted just because i have to be arround people. My husband on the other hand is an extrovert. So last week had him fired up, refreshed, and well charged, hence, all the energy and questions. Very contrast to me. I know.

I was lucky that my husband knew me well. He immediately registered that i was tired. He knew instictively, i guess, after 15 years together, and he accepted that, his wife is a real pain in the ass at these times. I'm sure glad that he did.

I should have said sorry for being a bitch last night. But i was fast asleep right after i hit the bed. I will wa him now to apologize. We should make time to celebrate our dating anniversary tonight. Ok, gtg, i'm gonna go search for a dinner place.

Melbourne awakening

Yes, i'm writing this in Melbourne, at the airport, sipping my overly bitter cappucino. My husband and i were here to attend Business Excellence Forum 2016. This is the forum that i always look forward to go every year. What we do in this forum is basically learn. Everybody who attended were business owners and we talk to each other about our businesses. At night there was a gala where the businesses competed with each other and winners were selected. My friend Fadly from ZAP won 2 awards and we were glad to be there to cheer for the Indonesian team. I met new friends from 20 fit, and this is the first BEF so far that i'm confident enough to try to talk with people that i don't know.

The cool part and different side of BEF in MLB is that, the award winners hosted round tables. So not only we get to learn from conference speakers, we get to learn from the award winners.

I spoked with 4 award winners, asked them questions, and believe it or not they are not more than 25 year old millenials. My husband told me to go and meet the winner or Young Entrepreneurs of The Year. He was very impressed with the guy and told me to sit at his round table. His name is George. He's 25, and he owns so many pubs in and out of the city. Everyone at the table looked at him with jealousy. I guess maybe because he's so young and he really started from washing dishes to building his own company that revenued 20 mio dollars last year. I, on the other hand, did not mind his age nor did i feel intimidated by his success. I asked a lot of questions and his answers made me feel like i want to kick my self on the shin, for being so lazy all these years. I learned a lot and i loved that.

I met other entrepreneurs and i became jealous. But a good jealous, you know? The kind that made you feel happy, fired up, and ready to take on insane challenges ahead. I feel inspired and super charged. Agitated and ready. I can say that i had an awakening. I want what they have, and i willing and ready to do what it takes. 

One speaker told us, to be rich and succesful is not a matter of luck or even simply hardwork for most of us, and really that's not the way we become one either. Being rich is a decision. 

A decision. 

How true is that? We become what we want to, when we decide to. Everything started with a decision. How bad do we want this? Now i realized, that i want this baaaad! Real bad, right through and inside my core. 

Aside from that, while we were here, we were given an insane offer. Insane as in out of this world crazy. Freaking scary good opportunities. Something that we really need to think about and decide. I know from experience that you don't really get this kind of chances. We could fail, but we could also... Fly! 

Save to say my husband and i lay awake these past few days. We were high on inspirations. Our minds can't shut down and thoughts seemed to run amok in the speed of bullet trains. 

We need to get home, and start. But we know, it's as important to shut down first. Restructure, rest, resfresh. And we are going to do that now. Flying to sydney for a day, before flying back home to everything we look so forward to. 

Boarding now. See ya in my next post!

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