Today is about meeting people.
I met a friend, Maya. Who i've known for a long time. All this time, i have never realized that we are kindred spirit. But i guess that's what happen if we are introverts. We kinda absorb life inward, living in our own little world. When we were young, these weirdness is just... weird. It kinda disconnect you from people.
As we grow older and came to know how to navigate through our noisy mind and quirky feelings, i found out, we still crave for human connection. Just in our own quiet ways. I enjoyed our talk. It was heartwarming, enlightening, and somehow my heart longs for the next time i would feel this connection again. Yet, being a true introvert, even though i was stirred with the meeting, and so looking forward to do it again, i still feel exhausted. Weird. even i think it's weird. It doesn't matter if i like the person or not, meeting people always drain me. No matter if enjoy meeting them or not, i will always feel very tired afterwards. I guess, the longer i know the person, the more at ease i become when i'm around them. But, it does not change the after effect. I still need alone time to recharge.
Btw, i've been going to JPCC for the last 6 weeks. In JPCC they have small communities called D.A.T.E. We just joined 2 weeks ago and today is our second meeting in this group gathering. It's funny how i'm not anxious around them by this second meeting. I don't know if it's because i have been pushing my boundaries lately, or really because of something else. Or maybe it is both.
It is so not me to make a youtube channel. It's very very scary for me. I think i look so hostile or tired in the videos, but i just make my self thinking, "It's ok. just keep at it, you'll get better at it." So even though i feel anxious all the time, i try to chill. You know, even as i'm typing this, i kept thinking that i should take down the videos. They suck, i suck. They don't matter. That's what i kept thinking to my self.
But, i'm giving my self my own advice to Maya. Nothing we do is ever wasteful. We just have to do our part. Just do our part. we never know if what we do is being used by God to create miracles. We might never know it too. But we just need to do our part.
So this post is for the other introverts out there. My kindred spirits. My soul sisters. Sometimes, we got to push our boundaries. Get uncomfortable. Get to be someone we are not. Someone better. Someone stronger. Because, that's our calling in this life. To be God's tool to create miracles. Miracles we might never see, miracles we might never know, miracles we might never get any credit for. I can't tell you what's in it for you, when we do all these. But i do know one thing, our lives will never be a wasted life.